walking in the woods in the dark

do you remember?

that time back in grade school? the class spent like a week in this old BIG house, in the total middle of nowhere, completely wood-huggy shit. at least we were'nt in the city at all, we made jokes that we couldn't breathe 'cause the air was "too clean".

they had a piano in that house, couldn't play the damn thing of course, too out of tune and you probably were'nt too good anyway, and too loud most of the time even through all that other stuff you wanted to play it and they wouldn't let you.

that one night, with the sparking life-savers (wintergreen? wasn't it?) and the 5 minute walk in the pitch black, in the middle of a path in the cold/dark woods, with no moon and no stars. silent. no sounds except the scratchy patter of your feet on the cold ground. what did you think about? did you think that it was kind of scary? or that you would probably think about this when you grew up? it was kind of disappointing, wasn't it. even though you did miss it when it was over, only because it really felt like you were actually DOING SOMETHING.

what was the preface? to get outside of all the social pressures and the family pressures and just to be alone with your thoughts, a little 7 year old walking alone in the woods. safe since where you were and the teachers just around the corner, with flashlights.

woods. alone in the woods. not the same, you really gotta bounce off of something alive, not trees. Trees are only alive in some f-cked up definition of the word. im not saying they don't get to keep on living and being happy trees, i want the trees to be happy, really i do. just don't tell me you feel sorry for me that it's not enough company for a little kid walking through the forest with the silent, cold woods to keep the minds eye from wandering.

man i wish i could remember what i must have been thinking...