life on earth and reverse time theory

one of the things i'll never forget about my dad are the times when I would be laying in bed, i've always had trouble sleeping, so he would come in and sit and we would talk about all sorts of stuff. usually somewhat science based. planets, extra-t life, the idea of huge distances, new technology on this planet, the future.

this has been a common way of me to communicate forever since then. sometimes it isn't what the situation is called for (think: girls), but this isn't something i can just turn off when its not appropriate. nope. this is the way i am.

my dad and i never talked about the past. or if we talked about anything other than the future, we would talk about the far distant past, saying "back then they didn't realize that the sun was really a big ball of gas, their explanation was ...", or "they used to think that the sun went around the earth, too..." and never about OUR past. again, for better or worse, i have a lot of trouble feeling regret, happiness about my own life up to this point. i don't think it is really a character flaw as much as a trait, after all, everybody is different.

as far as I can tell, the way I am is a result of where I have been. but couldn't it go the other way? Can't you look at it to say that the person I am now completely determines what experiences I must have had up to this point to make me do things the way that I do them? I call this viewpoint "reverse time theory" and it goes something like this:

ex: as i look out the window, i see a young man riding down the street on a bicycle. i think to myself, "that man is going somewhere". but then i realize, "that man is coming from somewhere, too". is he riding in front of my face as a result of where he is going or where he has been? of course, since i'm at my window, it must be a result of both since my window is likely to be in between both locations. but now make me an "impartial observer" independent of my own location. i'm just an observer watching this guy go by, ok fine.

then i would say (if i was being completely honest with myself) that the reason he is peddling on his bike is because of the decision he made at home to go, and the speed hes riding at is because of his past experience with riding bikes, and the pothole he swerved around was because he didn't want to crash. in order for me to be who i am, and make the decisions that i make, my past has to be exactly the way it is. any change in my past would have altered my present from it's current state.

we say that things had to happen in the past so that things in the present can be the way they are. in other words, if anything in the "past" had been different, then so would the present be different. so we in general think that the past influences the present. let me say it one more time, and please don't think im completely crazy: in order for me to be who i am, and make the decisions that i make, my past has to be exactly the way it is. any change in my past would have altered my present from it's current state.

can we "reverse the arrow of time" and find that everything still makes sense? I'm sitting here typing, clean as a whistle. before that i thought about typing, before that i was taking a shower, before that i was eating breakfast, before that i was hungry, before that i was sleepy eyed, before that i was asleep.

can we ask that effect implies cause? according to some physics books i've read, this is a completely acceptable way of thinking about things, but i've run out of time for now (when i get to school, i'll be on time) so i guess i better go now.